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April 15, 2005
Bank Tube
The announcer at Bank tube station really makes me laugh. I don't think he means to. It's just that when he makes a pre-recorded announcement, he must just wing it, no one would actually sit down and write the drivel he speaks. Alternatively, maybe he's only allowed one go at it, and fumbles his lines.
Currently playing is this one. This is what he says:
"Customers are reminded to keep all their bags, belongings, briefcases, etc with them at all times"
For a start, who carries briefcases any more. And isn't that a form of bag. Let's leave off that word then. And isn't a bag a belonging. Strike off bag. so we're left with "belongings etc". Unless we're carrying other people's stuff around for them, the etc is useless as well.
I've never seen anyone leave anything on a tube except an old newspaper, and one other item particularly easy to lose during the London rainy season (Jan-Dec). So I think what he really should say is.
"Oi, don't forget your umbrella mate!"
The previous long running announcement he did was all about Oyster cards. As well as saying the same thing about three times, it was the tone of voice this time that gave him away as a complete amateur.
"You must touch your Oyster card in and out when passing through the barriers. Please don't just walk through."
It was the stress on "don't" that got to me. He was really pleading, as he knew that's what most people do, and he really can't stop them. I don't actually have an Oyster card, so the implications of forgetting to touch in and out are lost on me, but it must be very serious indeed for someone to sound so sad about it.
(this post inspired by Richard Herrings Blog, of which I'm slightly in awe of at the moment. He is managing to write loads of stuff every day, and it's always very funny. I guess that is his job though)
Posted by se71 at April 15, 2005 04:42 PM
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